


Can't Fight This Feeling

by jadztone



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fandom Trumps Hate, Fluff, POV Julian Bashir, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:20:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadztone/pseuds/jadztone
Summary: Kira and Bashir are last minute substitutes to bring medical supplies to a planet that is celebrating their annual Festival. The Pirians are strategically located and Starfleet's orders are to make them happy.  No problem, until the Chairman of the Festival takes unseemly interest in Kira and threatens an intergalactic incident.  Desperate to avoid trouble, Julian blurts out that he's Kira's husband.  The ensuing charade dredges up feelings that both have been suppressing for some time.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Kira Nerys
Comments: 16
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to one of my Fandom Trumps Hate auction winners, who requested the Kira/Bashir pairing and expressed a desire for fake relationship and bed sharing (two tropes that are right up my alley). I'm a big fan of Deep Space Nine, but it's my first time writing for this show. I decided not to set it during a specific season, keeping it nebulously some time after their first year on the station. I wanted to avoid bringing up specific events/relationships or I would have fallen into Memory Alpha and never returned.

Chapter 1

Major Kira lowered her PADD and stared at Sisko incredulously. “You want me to do a milk run?”

The commander gave her an apologetic look. “Believe me, I don’t relish two of my senior officers being away from the station for almost a week.”

“A week?!” Kira’s voice rose, and Julian winced. He hoped she wouldn’t make too much of a fuss. Major Kira was understandably upset, but he was sort of looking forward to this.

“I said ‘almost’ a week. Four days. Possibly three if the necessary tasks are accomplished quickly enough.”

Kira made an impatient gesture. “Even three days is too long. Why do I have to be the one to pilot the runabout? Isn’t there some flunkie who could take Dr. Bashir?”

Sisko raised his eyebrows. “For the past five years, whenever the Pegasus was assigned the mission, they always sent their First Officer along with the Chief Medical Officer. I don’t know _why_ the First Officer went, though I have my suspicions. The Federation Ambassador who briefed me said that the Pirians may be offended if we suddenly send a mere pilot.”

Kira sighed. “And they really can’t wait until the Pegasus fixes whatever their problem is?”

Sisko shook his head. “Even if it were repaired immediately, there’s already been too much of a delay. By the time they could get here to pick up the supplies and head on to the Pirian system, the festival will be over.”

Kira scrunched her nose, which was always cute because it emphasized the ridges. “This is for a _festival_?” She narrowed her eyes at the PADD that held the details provided by the ambassador. “Why do they need medical supplies for a festival? And why don’t they already have this stuff on hand?” 

Julian cleared his throat, coloring a little. “They don’t usually need to have these things. For most of the year, the residents are very…erm…conservative. And then, for one week, they…uh…let loose. It’s somewhat of a free-for-all from what I understand. And because they let offworlders join in, they want to make sure they’re practicing safe sex.”

Kira stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. “You’re telling me that I have to leave Ops for four days to ferry supplies to an _orgy_.”

Sisko’s lips quirked, but he gave her a stern look. “Starfleet doesn’t care why the Pirians need these supplies; they only care about making them happy. They occupy a very strategic location in the quadrant, even more so since the wormhole opened up. As far as the brass is concerned, when the Pirians say jump, we ask how high.”

Kira blew out a breath. “Does that mean I have to make nice while we’re there?”

Sisko’s lips finally curved into a sardonic smile. “It would help.”

*

Most of their journey passed in silence. Julian kept glancing over at Kira, who, to her credit, was attempting to maintain a stoic façade even though he knew she had to be seething. He had hoped she’d be more relaxed by now.

“Major, may I ask you something?” She raised her eyebrows, but nodded. “Is there something you’re worried about? Back on the station?” Her expression turned bewildered. “You just seemed really reluctant to leave. I wondered if maybe you knew of some threat and didn’t want to be away.”

Her expression cleared and she looked a little sheepish. “No, nothing like that. It’s more that I’ll be forced to be idle for a prolonged period and I don’t relish it.”

He nodded in understanding. “You’re welcome to help out in the clinic. The first day will be training the staff on the various medications and knowing what symptoms to look for. After that, I’ll oversee any cases that come in to make sure they’ve got everything. If all goes smoothly, we can leave a day early.”

She shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, I suppose. Don’t know if I’ll be much help. I do okay with triage, battle injuries. We won’t be seeing any of that.” She gave him a rueful smile.

Julian snorted. “Depends on whether any Klingons show up. I’ve heard their sex is more like combat.”

Kira giggled. “It’s true. Jadzia’s told a few stories.” She shook her head. “I don’t know anything about the Pirians, but I am curious about their approach to sex. Being abstinent for a whole year and then one week of orgies. It sounds…frustrating.”

Julian chuckled. “Not everyone abstains, only the unmarried adults. And it does sound frustrating, but they seem to have complex reasons for it. I was doing some reading earlier, wanted to make sure they weren’t like the inhabitants of Beta III.”

“Beta III?”

“It was a planet visited by Starfleet a couple of times. When the Enterprise went there, they encountered a society that was stagnant and conservative, and they were in the middle of a festival where everyone let all their baser instincts take over. Not just sexual, but violence as well. Turned out they were under the control of some computer using some old philosopher’s beliefs.”

He opened up his PADD and started scrolling through it. “But that’s not what’s happening here. The Pirians are very progressive, they just have a unique way of approaching sex and romantic relationships. And no one is forced to live that way. Citizens are welcome to move to some other Federation planet if they are unhappy. Vice versa, if someone from another planet finds their lifestyle enticing. Here, let me find that one paragraph…”

A notation down at the bottom of the article caught his eye, one he hadn’t read earlier. He felt his stomach drop. “Oh no…oh dear.”

Kira scowled. “Everything okay?”

“I just saw the diplomatic warning…you know the dos and don’ts when visiting to make sure there aren’t any interplanetary incidents. It says that during the Festival, it’s considered deeply offensive if anyone unmarried does not participate, and even more offensive if anyone married _does_ participate. This is true even of non-Pirians visiting the planet at the time of the festivities. They don’t really care if an offworlder’s culture clashes with theirs. Their point of view is that if you come to their world, you abide by their customs. For that reason, it’s strongly suggested that offworlders avoid the planet during the Festival unless they are married or…uh…” He looked up and bit his lip. He was going to say ‘down to fuck’ but decided to go with, “single and ready to mingle.”

Kira gaped at him. “_What_?!” She snatched the PADD out of his hand and stared at it in disbelief. “Unbelievable! What the hell was Sisko thinking sending the two of us?” She made an impatient gesture. “Well, I suppose he figured you’d be overjoyed at the prospect. But he knows I don’t do casual.”

Julian crossed his arms. “For your information, I hadn’t even thought about participating in the Festival. I’ve been too busy preparing for my _professional_ duties as a doctor.”

Kira sighed. “I’m not saying it in a judgmental way. I’m just pointing out that you’re a much better fit for this assignment than I am.” Julian blew out an annoyed breath and Kira’s expression softened. “I’m really not judging! Why not enjoy yourself while you’re there? I just…guess this means I’ll have to make myself scarce. Any ideas I had of taking in the sights is no longer an option unless I want to get _real_ creative in figuring out how to reject people without offending them. I’ll have to spend the whole time in my room.”

Julian’s brow furrowed. “That doesn’t sound like much fun.” Knowing about her past, the last thing she needed was to spend all her time dodging unwanted advances. “For what it’s worth, I doubt I’m going to be much interested in festivities myself. Given the whole reason that I’m here, it puts a decidedly unsexy spin on things.” Kira tried to suppress a laugh, but they both end up giggling.

“Damn, you have a point. I might have to take you up on the offer to help you in the clinic. Maybe if people see that we’re there to work, they won’t bother us.”

Julian nodded. “Especially if we make a point of wearing our uniforms even in down time.”

“Agreed.”

An indicator chimed that they were entering Pirian air space, and Kira turned back to the console to begin communications with the locals regarding landing procedures. Julian busied himself with pulling up the cargo manifest on his PADD so that he’d be ready to go with unloading as soon as they landed. The sooner they got started, the better. They were a bit behind schedule, what with the snafu regarding the Pegasus. The Festival was already underway. They had been assured there were enough prophylactics left over from the year before to tide them over. 

If Julian were honest with himself, he wasn’t only concerned for the sexual health of the people down below. He had no reason to believe that folks wouldn’t behave themselves. This wasn’t Beta III, violence was not encouraged. And no one’s hormones would be out of whack like with pon farr. _Theoretically_, it was just a bunch of people having a good time. But even under the most civilized of circumstances, people misbehaved…badly. 

Julian decided he’d keep an eye on Kira. He’d have to be subtle about it, she would be the first to say that she could take care of herself. Julian had no doubt she could – he’d patched up any number of idiots who made the mistake of crossing her. But she shouldn’t have to endure even a moment’s trouble, or worry about disappointing Sisko.

*

There were no issues with the landing procedures, and their liaison was there to meet them when they disembarked. “Greetings, I am Bronjon Dant. Welcome to Piria.” Julian and Kira introduced themselves, and he noted the way Dant’s eyes lingered on Kira. One corner of his mouth ticked up and he said silkily, “I must say…any disappointment I felt about the Pegasus not coming is completely gone now that I’ve had a chance to meet you.” He looked solely at Kira as he said this.

Julian pointedly asked how far it was to the clinic. Dant reluctantly tore his gaze away from Kira to address him. “Only a few kilometers away. We’re just waiting on the transport that will carry the supplies. Ah, here it is now.”

Indeed, a vehicle slid to a halt right next to the runabout, and Dant introduced Julian to the two workers who would help him move the supplies over. Julian was reluctant to leave Kira’s side, as it appeared that Dant was intending to keep her occupied during the transfer. He needn’t have worried, Kira briskly offered to help, pointing out that it would move things along. Covering a smirk, Julian gave her a PADD with a copy of the manifest. Eventually Dant pitched in, obviously not wanting to stand by himself while everyone else worked. 

When everything was loaded, they all climbed into the transport and began the journey to the clinic. Kira had chosen to sit up near the transport workers, and was engaging them in polite conversation. Dant didn’t take his eyes off her. Julian cleared his throat. “So, do you work at the clinic?”

Dant pulled his gaze from Kira. “No, I am Chairman for all the logistics for the Festival. When we get to the clinic, I’ll introduce you to the director.”

Julian nodded. “It’s a pretty big event, must keep you very busy.”

Dant’s lips curved. “It _is_ a lot of work, but I make sure to delegate so that I may take part in the festivities.” His eyes flicked to Kira. Julian swore silently to himself. He couldn’t really blame Dant for his interest. Kira was gorgeous. Even more, her petite frame and fawn-like features _stirred_ things in a man. But it was obvious she wasn’t interested in Dant. She’d barely spoken to him, and was pointedly ignoring him at the moment. 

“I’m sure it’s important for you to make time for an event that is so significant to your culture. We’ll make sure to do our job swiftly and thoroughly and be on our way so that you can check it off your list.”

Dant’s brow wrinkled. “I have no concerns about getting this task over with quickly. Please take your time and enjoy yourselves.” 

Kira turned for the first time since they started the ride to the clinic. “Our priority once we complete our task is to get back to the station. We both occupy senior positions, and our responsibilities tend to pile up if we’re away too long.”

Dant smiled obsequiously. “Sounds like you have very stressful jobs. All the more reason you should take advantage of our festival while you’re here. Sex can provide quite a release.”

Kira gave him an incredulous look. Julian’s discomfort grew. Dant’s behavior served as a reminder of how persistent he’d been with women when he first arrived at DS9. He’d eventually learned the art of gracefully backing off. Hopefully Dant would similarly give up and shrug it off. But he might just as easily turn aggressive.

When they arrived at the clinic, the transference of supplies happened much as it had in the hangar – Kira helped the workers haul containers while Julian checked everything off on his PADD. Dant once again grudgingly assisted, this time making sure to stand too closely to Kira and bump against her occasionally. It was as Julian feared – he was escalating into physical overtures. Kira clearly was aware of his tactics, she’d probably seen them plenty of time. Instead of snapping at him to step back as she normally would, she kept moving away and quickening the pace of her work. 

Finally, everything was loaded into the clinic. Kira turned to Dant with an expression that said she was eager to be rid of him. “Well, thank you for your help in getting us here. I think we can take over, now.” She gave him her fakest smile.

Dant’s eyes glittered. “I wish for you to accompany me to dinner tonight.”

Through gritted teeth, Kira responded. “We have a lot to do here if we’re going to catch up from the delays. I imagine dinner will be from the replicator in the office.”

Dant smile was silky. “Tomorrow night, then. You should be all caught up. The clinic does close early every day. And after all, it is only Doctor Bashir who is needed in the clinic. Join me for dinner and then afterward you and I can celebrate the festival the way it was meant to be.”

Kira’s lips thinned, clearly fed up. She shook her head and declared, “That’s not happening.”

Dant’s eyes widened for a moment, and then narrowed. “Major Kira, are you not aware of the customs of our people? Rejection is considered to be extremely offensive. It is a sign of a weak and superficial mind, and we despise such things. For those of us who have not yet married, we practice self-control through celibacy and then once a year we reward our strength with the festival. But even then we demonstrate our superiority of mind by giving ourselves freely to whoever offers with no malicious intent. To say no to someone because you do not consider yourself attracted to them is frivolous and shallow. Such a person has no place in our society.”

Kira gaped at Dant as Julian’s heart pounded. This aspect of their society must have been in the part of the article he hadn’t finished reading. Sisko would be furious if he found out that they hadn’t fully briefed themselves. It was a stupid thing to do and the fact that everything had happened at the last minute was no excuse. Julian had only been concerned with reading up on the medical aspects. And now they have quite possibly started an intergalactic incident and who the hell knew what kind of punishment Starfleet would mete out.

Julian took a deep breath to quell the nausea, and intervened, “My deepest apologies, Chairman Dant, we didn’t realize you weren’t aware that Kira cannot take you up on your kind offer.”

Dant looked over at Julian, skewering him with his gaze. “The only people who can refuse an offer…who must refuse…are married folk.”

Julian gave him a shaky smile. “Indeed, and that’s what we are now discovering that…uh…that you didn’t know.” He clasped his hands together in a supplicating gesture. “I apologize that it wasn’t made clear at the beginning…that Kira is married.” There was a moment of silence in which Dant gave him a look of frank disbelief. Julian blurted, “…to me.”

Dant looked back and forth between Julian and Kira, who was staring at Julian as if he’d sprouted three heads. Dant folded his arms. “If the two of you are married, why are you not wearing the required arm bands?”

Julian blinked. “The what?”

Dant smirked at him. “Married people are required to wear arm bands during the festival so that incidents such as what just happened do not occur.”

Julian didn’t want to admit out loud that he hadn’t read the entire brief. Kira came to his rescue. “We were planning to obtain them once we got to Piria and settled in. It didn’t occur to us that we’d be propositioned so quickly.”

Julian pasted on an ingratiating smile. “I should have predicted it, darling. You are a beautiful woman, after all.”

Kira just stopped herself from rolling her eyes. “You’re pretty irresistible yourself, babe. We better find some arm bands quick, you know how jealous I get if anyone lays a hand on you.”

Dant looked extremely put out. “I’ll make sure that bands are delivered to you right away. If you’ll excuse me, I must go see to my duties.” He turned and marched out of the clinic.

Julian bit his lip, turning to Kira with apprehension. She gave him piercing look for a moment, then burst into laughter. “What the hell, Bashir?!?”

He found himself laughing along with her, relieved that she didn’t seem angry. “It was all I could think of in the moment!”

She shook her head in exasperation. “Telling him I was married was fine. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself. But why did you say that _you_ were my husband?”

Julian shrugged. “I could tell he didn’t believe me, considered it too convenient. I figured he would be less likely to dispute it if the husband in question was standing right in front of him.”

Kira sighed. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I’m a bit relieved to hear about the arm band thing. That means I can still go exploring if I want. But it also means you won’t get to join the orgy.” She gave him a mock sympathetic look.

Julian put his hands on his hips. “I told you, I don’t want…”

She rested her hand on his arm. “I know, I know. I’m just teasing.”

Julian let his arms fall. “So…you’re not mad that I charged in and claimed you as mine?”

Kira chuckled. “I like to fight my own battles, but this would have turned out to be a suicide mission. There was no way to get out of that one without causing major damage. I definitely appreciated the assist, as unorthodox as it was.”

Julian felt the tension leave his shoulders. “All right then, wife of mine. Let’s get this place set up.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When they finally dragged themselves to their hotel later, they were greeted by the owner, a Ferengi. Julian and Kira exchanged bewildered glances at how _happy_ he was to see them. “Welcome, welcome! I am so pleased to meet the couple who have made me so much latinum tonight.”

Julian’s eyebrows shot up. “Pardon?”

The Ferengi clapped his hands together. “Why your extra room, of course! Every year we always have two rooms for the Starfleet medical team, but then Chairman Dant notified me earlier that I could free one up since the two of you are married. I contacted the people on the waiting list and held an impromptu auction. I do so love auctions, especially when the clientele are quite eager. The profit I made from that room…” The Ferengi looked practically orgasmic. 

Julian felt anything but as he realized he and Kira would now be sharing a room. He didn’t dare look over at her, just gave the Ferengi a pained smile. “How lovely. If you don’t mind, we would like to see…um…our room. It’s been a long day.”

“Of course! Of course! Right this way! I will escort you myself. My name is Grek. If you need anything at all during your stay, you let me know. ”

As they made their way to the elevator, and still feeling too cowardly to face Kira, Julian struck up a conversation with the hotel owner. “So…uh…Mr. Grek, I’m curious about something. Do you get a lot of business outside of the festival?”

Grek shook his head. “Certainly not. This hotel, plus the nineteen others all on the outskirts of the city, shut down completely for most of the year. Their sole purpose is to cater to guests during the Festival. It is quite a lucrative contract for those of us who own these hotels. I was sought out by Dant because of my experience with running hotels on Risa and Wrigley. I know how to make sure folks have a good time without troubling themselves with minutiae.”

Julian decided not to ask what Grek meant by ‘minutiae’ since he had an inkling. Instead he marveled at the other thing he’d said. “Twenty hotels just for the festival? There are that many offworlders coming in?”

Grek snorted in derision. “No, the planet limits the number of offworlders that can attend. I guess the more aliens here, the more potential for trouble. They do some sort of lottery system, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s rigged. Dant is a very rich man, after all. Anyway, the other rooms are for the Pirians. It’s a sort of tradition that they go to hotels for the sex, and if they find that they are compatible with each other, then the offer is made to go back to their home and begin courtship.”

Julian almost jumped when Kira spoke up for the first time. “Is that how all Pirian marriages start out? One night stands?” Julian glanced over at her. She seemed remarkably calm, her expression one of curiosity only.

Grek shrugged. “I’m no expert on Pirian culture, only the parts that are relevant to me. I have heard that courtship can happen at any time of the year, but it’s not uncommon to delay until the Festival to make sure that they’re compatible sexually. I remember one couple last year that obviously knew each other and seemed very much in love the night they checked in. I saw them both again the next day with different partners. Same sex partners.” He snorted. 

They’d arrived at their door. Grek unlocked it and swept his arm to indicate they should precede him into the room. Julian gulped when he saw the interior. This was definitely similar in many ways to the hotels he’d seen on pleasure planets. The bed was huge, and there was a control panel next to it that undoubtedly had options for mood lighting, music, vibrating the bed, and operating the numerous electric candles scattered throughout the room. There was a line of various scented lubes on the right bedside table. The table on the opposite side had a row of massage oils and a folded bath sheet. 

Grek beckoned him into the bathroom, where Julian saw a huge bathtub and a separate shower with a bench big enough for two. The tub had jars of bath salts and a bowl of flower petals. “All of our products that come into contact with skin are allergen-free to most species, including these petals from the Silcarian lily. But if you do have any unusual allergies, please let us know right away. The last thing we would want is for you to have any unpleasant reactions during intimacies.”

Julian gave him a wan smile and went back into the main room. Grek indicated a table and two chairs off to the side, on which rested a bucket of champagne on ice and a basket of edible items. “If any of our food items don’t agree with you, please let us know. We have a large menu with any kind of aphrodisiac you can think of, as well as a selection of food that has been specifically designed to be eaten off the body without leaving unpleasant stickiness.”

Julian nodded mutely, unable to process speech. Grek bowed low, and wished them a pleasant stay, then finally swept from the room. The moment the door closed behind him, Julian heard an odd noise from next to him. He looked over and saw Kira holding her hand over her mouth, snorting as she attempted to hold in her mirth. She lost the battle and burst out laughing. Julian’s mouth quirked as her amusement was contagious. “This is incredible! All this stuff! Just to have sex?!? I like a bit of romance, but this is just…wow!”

Julian chuckled. “I take it you’ve never been to Risa or the like. The hotels like to cover all their bases, anticipate anything their guests might desire.”

Kira sighed. “My desire is for a really comfortable bed. I’m exhausted!” She flopped down onto the bed and groaned in delight. Julian had to look elsewhere as his heart beat a little faster.

A quick glance around showed that there was no sofa or seating other than the two chairs at the eating nook. Julian cleared his throat. “Do you mind if I use some of those pillows to make a pallet on the floor?”

Kira sat up and gave him a strange look. “Are you serious? If you bunk on the floor, you’ll get no sleep at all and you’ll be all aches and pains tomorrow when you’re trying to work. I wasn’t trying to imply that I was taking the whole bed for myself. It’s plenty big enough to share.”

Julian’s eyebrows shot up. “You don’t mind? I was…trying to be a gentleman.”

Kira barked out a laugh. “That’s very sweet, but completely unnecessary. You’re forgetting that during the Occupation, I was constantly on the move with my fellow resistance fighters. We slept in all kinds of situations – sharing sleeping bags in caves, sleeping three to a bed in abandoned houses, huddling together for warmth, whatever was necessary to get rest. Compared to such hardships, this barely counts as an inconvenience.”

Julian blushed. “My apologies, you’re right of course. You’re no prim princess.”

She grinned. “You’re damned right I’m not. Having said that, I get first crack at that giant tub. It’s been a long day!” She leapt to her feet and grabbed her bag on the way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

As he heard the water running, he studiously avoided thinking about her stripping off her uniform. It was clear that she trusted him in the same way she had her comrades, and was confident he wouldn’t try any moves on her in the night. Or she was confident in her ability to forcibly put him in his place if he did. Not that he was even considering it, but thoughts about her slipping into a bathtub full of scented oil would only serve to frustrate his already tightly controlled libido.

Julian busied himself with sending a report to Sisko regarding their first day. By the time he finished, his eyes were starting to droop. Fatigue was finally starting to set in. It took a lot for his enhanced body to experience it, and when he thought about how Kira had been setting the same pace the entire day, he felt a fresh wave of admiration for her.

The bathroom door opened and Kira came out wearing a fuzzy blue robe. “All yours!”

Julian opted for a quick shower, during which he didn’t take himself in hand as he usually did. He knew his thoughts would settle on Kira and that was unwise. Instead, when he’d finished rinsing off all the soap, he twisted the knob so that it would run cold, shocking his system. It was an old cliché, but one that worked. 

When he came out in his fleet pajamas, Kira was already in bed, her eyes closed. He slipped in next to her, noting that the bed was indeed large enough for there to be a comfortable foot of space between them. “Goodnight, Kira,” he said quietly. A soft snore was his only response. He smiled fondly, then turned out the light.

*

The next morning, Julian awoke to a sensation he hadn’t felt in a long time. That of someone soft and warm cuddled up next to him. His last relationship was a while ago, and most of the women he hooked up with never stayed around long after pillow talk. It felt really nice to hold someone in his arms. Feel her silky skin slide against his, her hair tickling his nose. Then he realized exactly _who_ it was in his arms and he stiffened in mortification. Kira must have sensed it, as she stirred in his arms. Her head came up and soon he was staring with apprehension into her sleepy brown eyes. 

Kira’s lips curved into a smile and Julian blinked at the sheer beauty of it. She chuckled. “You look positively terrified, Julian. Relax, I know you aren’t putting the moves on me. I’m the one clinging to you like a Tarkeesian cephalopod. Force of habit, I guess. The whole huddling for warmth thing I told you about.”

Julian relaxed and huffed out a laugh, trying not to feel disappointed when she moved away from him. He checked the chronometer. A mere 20 minutes before the alarm was set to go off, may as well get up.

Kira chose to help Julian at the clinic, noting that his first full day would go more smoothly if he had help. As the day went on, Julian found that he quite enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with her, just the two of them. Most missions he’d been on with her also included someone else, which made it more difficult to get to know her one on one. He knew she had a great sense of humor, but it was nice to see all her smiles bestowed on him for a change. 

The only shadow over his day was in the form of Dant constantly showing up to bother them. Surely, the man had more important things to do, and for this reason, Julian had doubts that his visits were entirely professional. His suspicions were confirmed when, after taking them out to lunch, Dant remarked that they did not seem like a couple.

Julian raised one eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Dant shrugged casually, but his expression was intent. “Maybe it’s just the Pirians, but most married couples are affectionate in some way. Holding hands, kissing hello, pet names. Your behavior towards each other has been entirely professional.”

Kira gave him a pointed look. “That’s because we’re working, and it is important for us to behave professionally during work.”

Dant’s smile was cold. “Even during a meal away from the clinic?”

Julian adopted an air of bewilderment. “Why are you so concerned about this?”

Dant’s expression turned skeptical. “We’ve had people attempt to circumvent our customs by pretending to be married. It is offensive in the extreme to be so disrespectful of our hospitality. We’ve always been open and honest about our beliefs and we expect our visitors to reciprocate.”

Julian felt a chill creep up the back of his neck. Dant badly wanted to catch them in the lie, and if he did, Julian had no doubt he’d expect Kira to be the one to smooth things over in a very specific way. He ground out, “I assure you that Nerys and I are married. There’s a very good reason we don’t look like we’re on our second honeymoon, and it’s that we’re here to do a job. At the moment we’re on a short break from that job. I don’t consider it appropriate to hold hands with my wife and call her Pooky while sharing a meal with a colleague.”

They stared at each other a few moments. Dant smiled coldly again. “My apologies for doubting your veracity. I should take my leave now, I have so many things to attend to. I’ll arrange for your transportation back to the clinic.” He stood up, and Julian and Kira got to their feet. “Oh, by the way, it is my duty to inform you that you’ll be expected to attend the Chancellor’s party tonight. It is customary for all high-ranking married couples to attend. As you are representatives of the Federation and Starfleet, you will be considered honored guests.” Translation, thought Julian, to decline would be highly offensive. “I will be popping in on occasion to update the Chancellor, so I will see you there.” At those ominous words, he gave a slight bow and then left the restaurant.

Julian heard Kira huff out a sigh. “I hope that means we won’t see him again until tonight. I was sick of him being underfoot.” 

Julian wrinkled his nose. “Agreed. I can’t believe that guy. He’s actually trying to catch us in a lie!”

Kira gave him a wry look. “Well, we _are_ lying.”

Julian folded his arms. “It’s the principle of the thing. I don’t like people questioning my integrity.”

Kira sighed again. “Well, if we don’t want anyone else questioning us…like the Chancellor for instance…we’re going to have to be more demonstrative.”

Julian winced. He did not like the idea at all. “I guess.” 

Kira gave him a questioning look. “Can I ask you something, Doctor? Ever since we started this charade, any time you’re in close proximity to me you act strangely. It’s almost as if you’re…I don’t know, repulsed or something. Do you find it off-putting to be near me?” 

To Julian’s amazement, it seemed as if Kira was actually hurt. Alarmed, he exclaimed, “No! Of course not! If I seem uncomfortable it’s because…” He couldn’t admit it was because he was attracted to her, and stirring up feelings that he’d worked so hard to suppress. “…I’m just worried about _you_, that’s all.” That was true enough. “I thought maybe you would be the one put off by having to be thrown together with me in ways that colleagues normally don’t have to. I mean, I know what you said last night about having to share sleeping spaces with your comrades, but you never had to pretend to be romantic with any of them.”

Kira’s expression cleared and her eyes danced again. “It’s true, none of the other fighters ever had occasion to call me Pooky. I admit that _would_ be distressing.”

Julian chuckled. “I’ll come up with something more palatable.”

Kira put her hand on his arm. “Look, I appreciate that you don’t want to make me uncomfortable. Don’t worry, I understand why you have to do it. I’m just as leery of going too far. We’ll play it by ear, and be honest with each other if it’s too much, okay? We’re in this together.”

Julian put his hand over hers. “Thank you, Nerys. That makes me feel better.”

She smiled at him, and it was dazzling. “See, we’re getting better at this already.”

*

On the way to the Chancellor’s mansion, they discussed what they felt comfortable with in terms of behaving like a married couple. Both agreed that they wouldn’t have to do anything salacious for propriety’s sake. Kira gave him a reassuring look. “Julian, I promise you I’ll be okay with you acting the way you would with one of your girlfriends if the two of you were having dinner with Sisko.”

Julian’s brow furrowed. “Well, that’s never actually happened, so I’ll have to play it by ear.” 

Kira grinned. “Well, as much time as you spend role playing in the holosuite, I think you’ll do fine. Better than me, at any rate. I’ll have to rely on you to set the tone, if that’s okay.”

Julian nodded, then turned to look out the window. Kira looked so beautiful tonight, and it was hard to take his eyes off her. The act wouldn’t start until they arrived at the party, so he had no excuse to gaze at her in adoration. 

When Kira had come out of the bathroom earlier, Julian’s heart had felt like it would hammer out of his chest. She was wearing a gown made of a soft, diaphanous material. It didn’t hug her body, at least not in an obvious manner. More like it draped over her in a way that paid tribute to her feminine curves. 

To cover his reaction, he teased Kira about bringing a party dress for what was meant to be a short trip and she shrugged and said she always packed it when she was visiting a planet as a representative of either Bajor or the Federation. “I always seem to get roped into some sort of ceremony, so one time I asked Garak to find me something that wouldn’t take up much room in any overnight bag, and he came up with this genius design. He may be a spy, but he’s also a damn good tailor.”

Julian had also been secretly pleased that she did that thing with her hair where it looked softer, flirtier somehow. He imagined running his fingers through it and wondered if he should do it for the sake of the ruse. No, he didn’t think he’d be able to finagle a plausible scenario that would allow him to do that. He wasn’t aware of any married couples that pet their spouse’s hair. Well, except for the Wentians, but their entire bodies were covered with fur.

Julian decided that the only way he was going to get through the evening was to stop overthinking it, and stop worrying about hiding his feelings. Anything he did, Kira was sure to interpret as part of the deception, so may as well let go for a bit. 

The car pulled up to the mansion, and an attendant opened the door for them. When they were out of the car and standing before the entrance, Julian put his hand on Kira’s back. He thought she might flinch or freeze up, but other than a slight ripple at his touch, she simply smiled at him. _Showtime_, he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They were introduced to the Chancellor, a very striking woman dressed head to toe in deep emerald. Her name was Beldany Sillian Prest, and she reminded Julian a bit of Lwaxana Troi. She was a gregarious older woman who flirted with everyone but had eyes only for her husband, Epanor Prest Sillian. 

Everyone in the room wore armbands, including the attendants. Prest noticed Julian’s curious gaze. “We make it a point during Festival to shift as many responsibilities as possible onto the married citizens so that the single folk can take time off to enjoy their week. Probably the only unmarried Pirian that works throughout the Festival is Chairman Dant. He’s been very praiseworthy of your work the past couple of days. I hope he’s accommodated your needs well.” 

Kira’s smile stiffened at the mention of their nemesis. “He’s been very attentive.” Julian supposed the mention of Dant reminded her of their charade, because she reached out and took his hand, sandwiching it in both of hers.

Prest beamed. “That’s good to hear. He mentioned that the two of you are anxious to get back to your station. I appreciate that that this assignment was short notice for you and I thank you for coming. I suppose because you two are married, you’ll be able to get more work done in a short amount of time and leave sooner. The representatives from that other Starfleet vessel…the uh….Pegasus? They tended to spread out their duties throughout the week so that they would have more time to celebrate.” She laughed. 

Julian barely heard what the Chancellor was going on about, as Kira was absentmindedly rubbing her thumb along the back of the hand she was holding. He felt goosebumps shiver up his arm.

The subject of their ‘marriage’ didn’t come up again until dinner, when Prest started asking them more personal questions and it led to the ubiquitous request to tell the story of how they met and got together. Kicking himself for not anticipating this, Julian stammered his way through a description of how they first met aboard the station. He winced as he recounted how he’d left a very poor impression on Kira by referring to the Bajoran system as the “frontier.” The Chancellor laughed uproariously at this. 

To Julian’s surprise, Kira put her hand on his upper back and began to rub it affectionately as she chimed in, “Needless to say, I eventually forgave him his naivete. I realized pretty quickly that what he lacked in social graces, he more than made up for in his work ethic and integrity. Once I saw that he was a valuable addition to the team, I allowed myself to get to know him in other ways. I was able to look past the flirting and see warmth and tenderness, how much he cares for the wellbeing of his patients and everyone around him.”

Julian flushed red. He never knew that Kira saw him this way. “I was glad that Nerys was able to look past my flaws, because I have nothing but admiration and respect for her. The more I got to know her, the more in awe I was of how she got through the Cardassian Occupation with so much grace and compassion and dignity.”

Kira glowed as she smiled at him, then shook her head. “He’s full of flattery. I was very rough around the edges when we first met. I’m sure he thought I was quite bad-mannered.”

Julian shook his head. “No, I thought you were someone who was trying to find their way in world that was completely different than what they were used to. So was I, for that matter. Deep Space Nine is quite a departure from Starfleet Academy. Not because it’s the “frontier” but because it’s in such a unique position to see people and worlds from two quadrants of the galaxy. I spent much of that first year trying to figure out how I fit in. It’s no wonder Nerys and I butted heads so much.”

Kira chuckled. “We also didn’t really have much in common. You’re always very…playful…in your off-duty time, whereas I always have a hard time relaxing. It was no wonder that you had a thing for Jadzia, she’s so full of fun.” 

Julian tensed and glanced at Prest, who had her eyebrows raised. “Nerys is referring to our friend Jadzia Dax. She’s Science officer at the station and she does indeed like to play hard as much as she works hard. And yes…I did rather waste a lot of time pursuing her. I eventually realized that we were better suited as friends. Nowadays I see her much as I see my other friend, Miles. Someone with whom I can enjoy frivolous pursuits like darts or the holodeck. What I want in a partner is so much more than games, and I found that with Nerys.” 

He chanced a glance back over at Kira. She seemed surprised, and touched. She gave him a shaky smile and turned back to the Chancellor. “I do tease him a lot about our early days, but…so much has changed. We’ve both grown so much, and I’m happy that we’ve grown together.” She looked down at her plate. 

Prest beamed at them both. “Oh, I love romantic stories so much! And I love to see two people so much in love as you obviously are.” Julian had trouble looking her in the eye as he gave her a weak smile. Fortunately, at that moment, the attendants came in with the next course and it gave Julian time to settle his nerves. 

Part of him didn’t want to read into the things that Kira said, but he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in her head. He wasn’t surprised by the idea of her being put off that first year by his insensitivity and his dogged pursuit of Jadzia. What was news to him was Kira suggesting that he wouldn’t be interested in _her_ because she wasn’t like their friend. The fact that this was something that crossed her mind implied that…possibly…at some point she considered the idea of them as a couple and dismissed it for those reasons. The thought distressed him a bit, and he wondered if his statement to the contrary might lead her to give him a chance. He was forced to acknowledge, because of this trip, that he really _wanted_ a chance.

*

After dinner, the guests all adjourned to the ballroom for some dancing. Kira murmured in his ear, “It would be great if you could dance with me as much as possible. I’m not very good and I don’t want to embarrass myself too much with other partners.”

Julian squeezed her hand in reassurance, though it ended up being harder than he anticipated to fulfill her request. Kira was gorgeous and garnering a lot of attention from the other guests. Even reminding himself that they were all married folk, he couldn’t help but feel twinges of jealousy whenever one of the Pirians asked her to dance. A few times he found himself interjecting that it was _his_ turn, which he tried to tell himself was at her request, but he knew better.

At one point, Julian saw Dant enter the room and approach the Chancellor, speaking to her in low tones. Julian made a beeline towards Kira and practically abducted her out of her partner’s arms, twirling her across the floor to the far side. She gave him a bewildered look, which erased when he hissed the name of their adversary.

Julian kept one eye on Dant as he held Nerys close in his arms. With his hand on her waist, he was distracted by the fabric of her gown. It seemed as if it was barely there. He could feel the warmth and suppleness of her skin beneath his fingertips. When he saw that Dant had clocked them and was moving in their direction, Julian deftly maneuvered Kira onto one of the balconies lining the ballroom. He tucked them away into a dark corner, and Kira giggled. “That was really smooth! I’m impressed.”

Julian chuckled. “I get a lot of practice in the holosuite. It seems to be a popular spy story trope to have a scene in a ballroom where the villain pursues the hero as he’s dancing in the arms of a beautiful woman.”

Kira blushed and laughed again. “You Terrans are so fanciful.”

Julian saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and without thinking he grasped her hips and pulled Kira flush against him. She gasped as he put his lips to her ear. “Dant’s watching us. Do you trust me?”

She shivered against him and nodded. Julian pulled back slightly and used his fingers to lift her chin, tilting her head slightly. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. She made a little sighing noise that he couldn’t interpret, and pressed back, lifting her hands up and curling them around his shoulders. 

Lost in the sensation of the softness of her lips, Julian had no idea whether they were still being watched. He stroked the line of her jaw with his thumb, and Kira took that as a signal to part her lips. Using his other hand to curl around the back of her neck, he tugged slightly so that they were pressed even closer as he deepened the kiss. The sensation of her tongue sliding against his had a dizzying effect. 

Kira moaned slightly, and his answering groan made him realize that he should stop this now before he became embarrassingly aroused. 

Julian pulled his head back, sucking in a deep breath. A quick glanced confirmed that Dant was no longer there, obviously satisfied (or disappointed as the case may be) that they really were a couple. 

Kira’s breathing was unsteady, and she gazed into his eyes. “Was that another spy story moment?”

Julian smiled ruefully. “It is, actually. The idea being that you don’t want to blow your cover, but it’s really an excuse to sneak a kiss with an alluring woman.”

Kira looked away, her expression unreadable. “You must do a lot of kissing in the holosuite. You’re…very good at it.”

Julian huffed out a laugh. “I suppose I do. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that it’s all fake. That is, until I kiss a real woman, and I realize…that there’s no comparison.” He gazed down at her, and she blushed.

Resisting the urge to kiss her again, Julian stepped away from Kira and peeked into the ballroom. There was no sign of Dant. “I think he might have left. Now that he’s delivered his report to the Chancellor and spied on us, I imagine he must be eager to get back to the festivities.”

Kira scowled. “You mean foist himself on some other poor woman.”

Julian tilted his head. “For what it’s worth, I really do think that in their culture they don’t look at sex and romance the way we do. Bajorans and Terrans are similar in the way we tend to have individual preferences when it comes to sharing intimacies. As Dant was saying yesterday, Pirians have a negative view of that.”

Kira shrugged one shoulder. “I suppose you’re right. It’s difficult sometimes when a culture is so vastly different from my own, my first instinct is to think my way is better.” She winced, as if ashamed.

Julian squeezed her arm. “It’s very common to feel that way. It’s one of the reasons we have ambassadors that specialize in diplomacy. And I imagine that the Cardassians didn’t leave you with a very good first impression of alien cultures.”

Kira huffed out a laugh. “I suppose the Pirians are tame in comparison. One thing I will say about their way of looking at things – you don’t run the risk of falling for someone who doesn’t return your attraction.”

Julian gave her a sharp look, but decided she didn’t know how close to home that hit. Softly, he replied, “To not have to suffer through unrequited longing? What a tender world that would be.”

Kira looked up at him, her gaze searching. Deciding this conversation was straying into dangerous territory, Julian gestured towards the ballroom, allowing himself a hand to the small of her back to guide her back into the fray.

*

The rest of their time at the party passed without incident, but Julian was being worn down by how easy it was to slip into the role of Kira’s husband. He was unable to fully enjoy the opportunities to touch her because it was all meaningless. This wasn’t like the holosuite, where he could take on a persona and pretend romantic involvement. The women he romanced were just as false as the relationship. Keeping up a pretense with a real woman that he _really wanted_ was slow torture.

Finally they said their goodbyes and climbed into the car that would take them back to their hotel. Julian found himself angling slightly away from Kira so she wouldn’t see that he was half hard in his trousers. Nerys seemed tired as she rested her head against the window. Julian wanted to ask her how she was, but refrained in the presence of the driver.

When Julian opened the door to their room and got a load of what was inside, he cursed the Ferengi and their persistent need for profit. In the hotel industry, where competition was fierce, it was profitable to go way overboard in hospitality…in this case, turndown service. All the electric candles were on, giving the room a soft glow. Another bucket of champagne was chilling by the bed, on which two towels were molded into the shapes of birds kissing. The duvet was turned back, and chocolates were on the pillows. There was also a small spray bottle on the nightstand with a folded card. 

Kira went and picked up the card, reading it aloud. “This is a new product that just came in today and it’s already sold out. I saved a bottle just for you. Guaranteed to drive you both wild when sprayed on his…his _what_?!? Are you kidding me?!?!” She dropped the card as if it burned her. She gave Julian an incredulous look, then burst into giggles. Soon he was snorting with laughter along with her.

Eventually they were laughing so hard that they were gasping for air. Kira had flopped down onto the bed and was clutching at her abdomen. Julian’s own stomach was cramping as he sat at the edge of the bed. Kira snatched up one of the chocolates and read the label. “Unbelievable! Even the chocolate claims to have aphrodisiac qualities.” She groaned and shook her head. “Isn’t all this stuff to get you in the mood a waste of effort, anyway? The people that check into this hotel have one goal – to have sex. They’re already in the mood, so just let them get on with it!”

Julian shook his head fondly. “I’m sure it’s intended to make it a little more special, relaxed. An assurance that it isn’t just going to be ‘wham bam thank you ma’am.’”

Kira giggled again. “Wham bam what?”

Julian reclined back on the bed, his head resting near hers as their bodies lay at a right angle to each other. “It’s an old Terran expression meaning…” He gestured with his hands, “…a quickie and then out the door.”

Kira raised her eyebrows. “Ah. Yeah, I suppose that wouldn’t be very much fun.” She huffed out a laugh. “It’s just not something I ever thought about. The people I’ve gone to bed with…” She paused, and blushed, as if realizing where she was, “I guess I never worried that they wouldn’t make it good for me.” She blushed harder, and Julian realized she must be tipsy from the party to share something so personal.

Julian propped his head on his hand and gazed down at her. “They would be utter fools if they didn’t. I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to take their time with you. Draw it out as much as they could.” And that right there was proof that he was just as tipsy. He couldn’t believe he just said that, bloody hell!

The smile Nerys gave him was slow and sensual, or at least it seemed that way to Julian’s addled mind. He wanted to lean over and kiss her again. But what if he was wrong? Fearful of making a huge mistake with a colleague he respected, Julian sat bolt upright. “I’m going to go uh…brush my teeth. And stuff.” 

He fled to the bathroom without looking Kira’s way. How the hell was he going to share a bed with her in this state? Julian rummaged through his overnight bag and found a hypo that he knew had a dose of anti-intoxicant. He quickly applied it to his neck. He’d still find Kira utterly desirable, but at least he’d have slightly better judgment.

When he left the bathroom, Nerys had already changed into her sleep clothes. He wasn’t sure if he was thankful or disappointed that they were the same comfortable top and shorts as the night before. What had he been expecting? That she would have read the signals from him and opted for a slinky nightgown?

Kira’s expression looked uncertain as they passed each other and she went on into the bathroom to tend to her ablutions. He wondered if he was tipping his hand and decided that further conversation would make it more obvious. Better that he get into bed and feign sleep. 

Julian quickly climbed under the covers and pulled the duvet up to his chin, squeezing his eyes shut. He heard the bathroom door open, and after what seemed like an unnaturally long pause, the mattress sagged as she climbed onto it. He opened his mouth to say goodnight, but then realized he was supposed to be fast asleep.

“Julian?” _Damn it._

“Yes, Nerys?”

“Do you think we were convincing enough to the Chancellor?”

Knowing it was a mistake to do so, Julian turned over until he was facing Kira. He melted at the sight of her with her head resting on her pillow, her soft, beautiful eyes gazing at him. He ached with the intimacy of it. Swallowing, he nodded. “I believe so. You were brilliant the way you turned around my poor attempt at explaining how we met, the way you talked about changing your opinion of me, your regard for me. It was very convincing.”

Kira’s brow wrinkled. “Julian, I meant every word of it. The way I think of you now is worlds away from how I felt when we first met. Anyway, _you_ were the one saving _me_ from my big mouth. I don’t know what I was thinking bringing up Jadzia.” 

Her words had a slight trace of bitterness that recalled Julian to his earlier thoughts that perhaps she compared herself unfavorably to her friend. He wondered if he should test this idea. Tentatively, he replied, “I think that it worked better than you realize. I imagine that the Chancellor’s interpretation of what you said was that you’d once been jealous of my feelings for Jadzia.”

Kira looked down. “I suppose I did come across as harboring old resentments. Your response was very sweet…and she seemed to buy it.” Her tone was doubtful.

“You think I should have said more?” he probed.

She shook her head. “No, of course not. As I said, it worked for Prest. She doesn’t know Jadzia, and therefore doesn’t know how amazing she is. A lot more than the fun-loving part of her we talked about. So, of course the Chancellor was convinced that your feelings could change. I guess it was just harder for me, personally, to see it as…plausible.”

Julian felt his heart start to hammer. Don’t get excited yet, he told himself. It’s one thing for her to think that he couldn’t have possibly stopped wanting Jadzia, and something else completely to imply that she’d been jealous. He needed to tread carefully with this next bit. “I see what you’re saying, but I _was_ telling the truth. It’s hard to explain… Dax has lived a very, very long life, and she’s very wise. She _knew_ that there could never be anything romantic between us. That would be sustainable anyway. So, she was persistent in keeping our relationship as one of just friendship. Over time, the sharpness of the attraction I felt for her softened into affection. It’s just not the same anymore, and I wholeheartedly agree with her that we’re better off as friends. Does that make sense?” 

Kira nodded. “It does, actually. I’ve felt that way about someone, before. Someone in the Resistance. The outcome was very similar, I ended up thinking of him like a brother. I guess I’m still having trouble with the idea of you going from being in love with Jadzia to being in love with me. We’re so different! That bit where you told Prest that what you wanted in a partner you found with me. That was the hardest to swallow.” She flushed and looked down, shaking her head. “Not that it matters, I don’t know why I’m even bringing this up. It was an act for the Chancellor, and it worked. End of story.”

“Nerys,” he said, striving to keep the pleading edge out of his tone of voice, “I don’t know why you find it hard to believe that I wouldn’t feel utterly privileged to be married to…someone like you.” He was chickening out, unable to say ’you’ specifically, but he carried on in the hope that she would still get the message. “I’d like to think that we have the most important things in common. For instance…our desire to help those that are suffering. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen you put your life on the line for others. Your compassion is so inspiring to me.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “You do the same thing, Julian. The way you care for your patients…you’d do anything for them.”

“That’s what I mean, we really understand each other. I’d never want you to change, even if it’s hard to watch you put yourself in danger or push yourself to the point of breaking. And I’d expect the same in return. That’s what partnership means to me. I want someone who I can come home to and talk to about what I deal with day to day, and they really get where I’m coming from and support me. I don’t really _care_ if they’re rubbish at darts.” He was annoyed with himself for continuing to fall back on the third person, but he was so afraid of misinterpreting what might just be curiosity on Kira’s part.

Kira’s smile was radiant. “That’s really beautiful, Julian. I completely get what you’re saying and I agree. What you said about accepting me for who I am, it’s what I want more than anything. It’s been a point of contention in past relationships. They admire who I am, but then they get close to me and…can’t handle the intensity. They want to change the very thing they fell for.” Her tone was bitter.

Julian took hold of one of her hands. “You deserve better than that, Nerys.”

Her breath hitched, and she whispered, “I like to think I do. If only…” She paused, licking her lips. Julian waited for her to finish, aching for a sign that she wanted this with him. But she didn’t finish. Instead, with an expression that seemed resigned, she gently tugged her hand out of his. He couldn’t tell very much in the dimness, but it seemed as if her eyes had a sheen to them that she was now blinking away. “Thank you for your kind words, Julian. I get a little maudlin when I’ve had too much to drink. We should get some rest. We have a lot to complete if we want to finally go home tomorrow night.” With that, she shifted so that she was facing away from him. 

Julian suppressed a sigh. He’d blown it, somehow. Nerys must have seen the truth, that he very much wanted to be with her specifically, and she gently rebuffed him. It was just as well this was their last night here, after the hash he’d made of it. He could only hope that when they return to the station, they can get back to their former cordial professional relationship. He felt a pricking sensation behind his eyes, and he squeezed them shut, refusing to give into self-pity. He rolled over so that he would no longer be facing Nerys, and concentrated on trying to get to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What a tender world that would be" is a wink to Sherlock BBC. I don't know why I wanted to include it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Something odd tugged at Julian’s consciousness. He reluctantly opened his eyes, his gaze falling on the curtained window. He could tell it wasn’t quite morning yet. Probably another hour to go. So, it wasn’t his alarm that woke him. His gaze dropped, and found that most of his view was obscured by soft, tousled hair. Kira’s hair. The reason for this became clear as the fuzziness of sleep evaporated. Once again she’d ended up nestled into his arms, half draped over him like…what was it she’d said? A Tarkeesian cephalopod. That was where the resemblance ended. She was much softer and warmer than a sea creature, and Julian felt a heady mixture of affection, longing, and arousal course through him. 

This time she didn’t wake up right away, and Julian found himself guiltily taking advantage of that fact to enjoy the moment longer. It was going to be the last time it happened, what with them going home today. He would never get to have this cozy feeling again. 

The coziness turned into something more visceral when her leg shifted, brushing against his cock. Julian bit his lip hard to try and curb the spike of lust. But it was too late, all he could think of now was her body pressed against him. She shifted again, this time, her nose nuzzling against the sensitive bit of skin right behind his ear, and he shuddered hard. 

She was awake now, her eyes slowly opening to gaze up at him. “Julian?” Her voice was throaty from sleep and it just made things worse. He was about to make his escape from the bed when her leg shifted again, and there was no way she didn’t feel his arousal. She froze, looking down at the bulge her thigh was now resting against. His pajamas were thin, and there was no mistaking the outline of his erection. She looked back up at him, her eyes wide.

“I’m sorry, Nerys,” he blurted, beginning to panic. “I know you don’t want this, and I’m trying to respect that. It’s been hard these past few days,” he winced at his choice of wording and soldiered on, “a-as you can see, but it’s only because of all th-the intimacies we’ve had to share, and I _promise_ once we get back to the station I’ll be professional again and you won’t even get a hint of how I feel for you. Please, just…just ignore it.” He glanced down at his erection and winced again, refusing to look at her.

“How…how you _feel_ for me? You mean all those things you were saying last night…you really do want that with _me_?” Her tone was incredulous, but also…hopeful? He looked over at her, and indeed her expression was one of wonder. He slowly nodded, not wanting to speak in case he said something else stupid. 

Nerys huffed out a laugh. “I don’t want to ignore it, Julian. Not when I feel the same way.” Her hand slid down his body until she was cupping him, and he hissed out a gasp. 

He felt all rational thought start to leave him, and he struggled to maintain focus. “I want it to be clear I don’t mean that I just want _that_,” he nodded down at where she was now kneading him gently, and his voice broke, “I w-want all of you.”

She beamed at him. “You darling man, that’s what I meant, too.” She propped up on her elbow and lowered her head to kiss him. He groaned into her mouth, his hand coming up to curve around the back of her head, pulling her on top of him. 

When they broke off for air, he gasped, “Sh-shouldn’t we talk about this? I have so many questions. I thought you weren’t interested in me.”

Her gaze was hot. “Right now I’m very interested in getting your clothes off and taking advantage of this ridiculous hotel room before we have to check out. _Please_, Julian, we can talk on the way home.”

There was no way in hell he could resist the pleading in her doe eyes. “O-okay. God, yes. Just…don’t use the spray on me. I don’t know what’s in it and I’m already afraid I won’t last long as it is.”

Kira’s smile was triumphant. “Fine, I’ll pack it and you can run tests on it back at the station.”

Julian felt a thrill at the implication that they’d be doing more of this once they got home. He allowed himself to relax and enjoy the amazing things Nerys was doing with her hands.

Sensing his acquiescence, Nerys beamed her delight. She climbed up onto him fully and resumed kissing him, sucking and biting at his lower lip. Julian barely suppressed a whimper, and slid his hands down to her arse. Christ, but it felt amazing to finally grip the soft flesh that had been driving him crazy, years of trying not to stare at the sway of her hips whenever she walked away from him. He couldn’t wait until their clothes were off and he could see the smooth flesh curving over her backside. He wondered if she’d let him take a bite. 

Speaking of clothes, Julian had been so distracted by the delightful arse in his hands that he hadn’t registered that Nerys’s nimble fingers were pushing up his sleep shirt to rain kisses along his abdomen. He decided to aid her by grabbing the collar of his shirt and tugging it up over his head. She made a pleased humming noise as she ran her hands up and down his torso. Julian found himself mimicking her movements, his hands creeping underneath her top to caress the soft skin along her back, his breath hitching at the thought of her breasts, inches away. His hands strayed to her sides, resting his fingertips along her ribs, but for some reason he found himself hesitating from going further.

Nerys lifted her head and gazed at him, her expression knowing. “I never took you for shy, Julian.”

Julian gave her a sheepish smile. “I’ve spent so long forcing myself not to fantasise about you, about all the ways I want to touch you. It’s hard to retrain my mind to accept that I can do this.”

Nerys gave him a tender look and rose to a sitting position, straddling his hips. She grasped his wrists and moved his hands so that they were now resting on her bare breasts underneath the fabric of her top. He reverently massaged them, watching as she tipped her head back and sighed in contentment. She let go of his wrists and crossed her arms, hooking her fingers underneath the hem of her top and pulling it up and over her head. 

Julian felt the shift of her breasts with her movements, pulling taut as Nerys’s arms were lifted, then softening into the curve of his palm when she lowered them. They felt incredible. Julian moved his hands back to her ribs so he could gaze at her breasts fully. “Nerys,” he breathed, “you are _beautiful_.” His thumbs caressed her pink nipples, watching them tighten with each swipe. Nerys bit her lip, and the small sound that escaped was Julian’s undoing. 

He sat up and circled his arms around Nerys so that their bodies were pressed together, skin against skin. He groaned as he captured her lips, licking into her mouth, the urgent need to feel every part of her rising in him. She matched his enthusiasm, one hand tangled into his hair and the other stroking his back, whispering a triumphant, “_Yes_” in her delight that he was no longer holding back.

Julian flipped them so that Nerys was on her back. He shifted down so that he could take one of her breasts into his mouth. “Oh, that’s it, yes! I want your mouth on me. _Everywhere_.”

“Mmm, careful what you wish for, I just might devour you.” Julian switched to the other breast, licking and nuzzling.

Nerys made a rumbling noise almost like a purr, “Oooh, promise?” Julian very lightly scraped his teeth against one of her nipples and was rewarded when her purr turned into a growl. Her legs parted and she wrapped them around his hips. His hands found their way back down to her arse, massaging it again through the thin material of her sleep shorts as he buried his face between her breasts. He could feel his cock throbbing as he pressed it to the mattress below her hips. 

As he continued kneading the globes of her bottom, he felt Nerys’s chuckle vibrate through her chest. “You love my ass, don’t you?” He groaned his acknowledgement. He felt her unwrap her legs from around him and her hands pushing at his shoulders. He reluctantly levered upward and gave her a quizzical look. “I think it deserves more attention than that.”

Nerys flipped over beneath him until she was face down, then looked over her shoulder. “Well?”

Sucking in a ragged breath, Julian sat up. With trembling fingers, he grasped the waistband of her pants and slowly pulled them over and down the curve of her arse. Her flesh quivered as the elastic stretched and tugged, and when he finally had it down to her thighs, he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he let out a whimper. “Perfection,” he whispered as he placed his hands on the soft flesh, and set about worshipping Nerys’s glorious backside. 

When he’d had his fill of kissing, licking, biting against her supple skin, Julian slid up Nerys’s body until he was draped on top of her. He nuzzled her ear with his nose and could feel her shudder as he sucked on a lobe. Almost unconsciously, his hips began rolling against her bottom. The only thing separating it from his cock were his pajamas, which at this point were slightly damp from the leaking of his cock. 

A visceral part of him wanted to shove down his waistband until his cock was free and lift her hips just enough that he could drive into her from behind and fuck her into the mattress. From the way she was panting with need, he thought she would probably be quite happy with that approach. But he didn’t want their first time to be a quickie like what they joked about the previous night. He wanted them to be face to face so he could gaze into her eyes when he buried himself in her for the first time.

Not quite ready for that yet, Julian planted his knees to brace himself as he curled his arms around Nerys’s torso and rose up into a kneeling position, positioning her so she half kneeling, half sitting on his thighs, back reclined against his chest. With a moan, she lifted her arms, hands reaching back to clutch at his hair as he softly massaged her breasts with his left hand and his right slid down until he was cupping between her legs. Nerys let out a soft gasp as he started fingering her. “J-Julian!” she said with a choked gasp. 

He sucked marks into her neck and shoulders as he started stroking her. She was now making whimpering noises, breath hitching when he used his other hand to softly tweak one nipple and then the other. The urgency of her noises increased, and Julian’s hips started rolling again as he imagined them in this position with her impaled on his cock. So many possibilities for making love that were now in their future if he didn’t mess it up. “Nerys, you are exquisite,” he breathed.

Suddenly it wasn’t enough to have his fingers inside of her. He wanted to taste her as well. Reluctantly removing his hand (shivering in sympathy with her groan of protest), he lowered her to the bed, turning her face up. He quickly slid down, giving her hip bone a quick kiss, and gently parted her legs. He buried his face into the soft, thick curls, licking into her as she gave a shout. “Fuck! Julian! Oh, _fuck_!”

He felt her thighs quivering around him as he stroked her with his tongue, the noises she made above him causing him to come dangerously close to the edge. He reached into his pajamas and squeezed the base of his cock. When he was sure that he wasn’t going to go off, he brought his hand back up and inserted two fingers in her, eliciting another, “Fuck!” from above. A part of him preened at how ready she was for him, slick and elongated, the muscles squeezing against his fingers. Ignoring the protest of his cock, which very much wanted to replace his fingers, he swiped around in search of that one delightful spot. A shudder went through Nerys when he found it, and he began stroking as he used his lips and tongue on her clit. Nerys was cursing and trying not to buck her hips. 

Julian could tell when she was about to orgasm as he felt her muscles twitch and her moans became more breathy and high-pitched. Finally, he felt her shuddering beneath him, and he glanced up to watch her face as she came, the most breathtaking thing he’d ever seen. “Julian,” she gasped, “_please_. Please get up here and fuck me. I need you to fill me right _now_.”

Like a puppet on a string, her words had Julian scrabbling up the bed to settle between her legs. Nerys grasped his face and pulled him down for a passionate kiss as he pulled off his pajamas with a shaking hand. When his cock sprang free, Nerys took it in her hand and began stroking it. It was Julian’s turn to let out a string of curses as she guided his cock to her entrance. He almost wept with relief as he finally began to slide into her tight channel. As he had wished for, they gazed at each other in wonder and tenderness until he was all the way in. His voice overcome with emotion, he whispered, “Nerys, you feel amazing. You are amazing.” He dropped his head, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. He felt her fingers carding through his hair. 

“Julian,” she whispered softly. “This feels really good, but I need you to move. Now.” With a groan, he started to thrust. He took it slowly at first, holding himself back, until she wrapped her legs around him and began to meet his thrusts with her hips, clearly wanting to pick up the pace. 

Even as he took her cue and sped up, it was apparently still not enough. She growled in his ear, “Fuck me _harder_, Julian. I want to feel my bones rattling. Don’t make me take over.” Julian felt such a spike of lust at her filthy words that he almost blacked out. Another fantasy flashed behind his eyes, of her riding him, a crop in her hand, barking out orders. The visual prompted him to begin slamming her into the mattress, spurred on by her moans of delight as she shouted for him to go harder.

Julian rained down kisses on her neck, collar bone, breasts as he fucked into her, feeling his orgasm start to build. He reached between them and swiped his thumb across her clit again and again until she shuddered and moaned, throwing her head back as she came a second time. The tightening of her muscles tipped him over the edge, and soon Julian was coming too, shouting her name like a benediction. 

When she winced slightly, he knew that she was becoming too sensitized, so he gingerly pulled out and used his hand to stroke out the last few twitches of his orgasm. He looked up to see Nerys gazing at him. She reached out and swept a lock of hair out of his face, then rested her hand on his shoulder and tugged slightly. He gently eased down next to her, gathering her into his arms and softly capturing her lips in a tender kiss.

They were both still shaking slightly as endorphins coursed through them. The sweat on their skin was also beginning to cool, so Julian reached down and tugged the top sheet over them. Nerys snuggled further into his arms. “Mmmm, I love morning sex. But it’s kind of bittersweet when one has to get up and go to work.”

As if on cue, the wake up alarm went off. Julian groaned as he reached over and turned it off. “Dammit! I was hoping we could have some pillow talk.”

Kira turned in his arms. “I promised you we’d talk about things on the way home, and I intend to keep it. And if we have time, maybe I’ll return the favor from what you did earlier.” Her eyes gleamed with mischief.

Julian’s brow wrinkled. “What did I do?”

“That thing with your tongue. It was…_so_ fantastic.” She gave him a satisfied smile.

His eyebrows shot up and his face felt warm. “Are you saying you want to blow me in the runabout? Nerys, there are security cameras on board!”

She snickered. “Spoilsport! I guess it will just have to wait until I can get you in my quarters.” Her smile faded. “You…do want to carry on when we get back to DS9, right? Please tell me I didn’t misinterpret anything in the heat of passion.”

Julian gave her a lingering kiss. “I do, yes. I want to be in a relationship with you. A proper one.”

Her smile returned. “You know what this means now, don’t you? According to Pirian custom, I’m officially courting you.”

Julian laughed. “How do you figure that?”

Nerys ran her finger up and down his arm, sending goosebumps alight. “Well, we had sex in a hotel during the festival. We had a discussion in which we decided we’re compatible. And now I’ve invited you to my home to take the next step. It’s practically by the book.”

Julian smirked. “The next step being your offer to fellate me in your quarters. Sounds like my kind of courtship.”

*

When the runabout set down at Landing Pad 6, so happy was Julian that he felt like they were still flying through space. During the trip home, Nerys explained how she’d been attracted to him from the moment they met, but her irritation with his attitude had led her to dismiss it out of hand. By the time she came around to realizing he was so much more than her first impression, his sole focus seemed to be on Jadzia. Nerys confirmed Julian’s suspicion that even after it was clear he was over Jadzia, she’d concluded that she couldn’t possibly be his type. After awhile, they’d settled so much into their professional friendship that she got used to burying her feelings, even as they kept growing, much in the same way that he did. 

They were both thankful that this trip had forced those feelings to the surface. They left a very hefty tip for Grek, but decided against expressing any gratitude to Chairman Dant, who was suspiciously absent when the packed up to leave. He sent his farewell via electronic communication instead, which was just fine with them.

Sisko was there to greet them when they disembarked, and his eyebrows shot up when he saw that they were holding hands. “Welcome back! Uh…I guess your trip was…eventful?”

Julian grinned. “We have a lot to tell you, some of which _won’t_ be on the official report. Suffice it to say that we’ll be filing a Form 30257 Declaration of Intimate Partnership as soon as possible.”

Sisko huffed out a laugh. “Wow! Congratulations. So the old Pirian saying is true? That the Festival has a magical ability to entwine hearts as well as…er…bodies?”

Julian shrugged one shoulder. “I can neither confirm nor deny, since we never even made it _to_ the Festival.”

Sisko clapped his hands and laughed again. “You don’t say! Well _some_ sort of magic has been at work with you two. I’ve never seen either of you so happy. And content. It’s as if a weight has been lifted. I look forward to your story, later. For now, I’ll leave you to go unpack.” He slapped Julian on the back and went off in the direction of Ops.

Julian’s lips curved into a mischievous smile as he regarded Nerys. “Yes…unpack. Sounds like a wonderful idea. Shall we stop by your quarters first?” He hefted his bag, which was filled with an odd assortment of electric candles, bath oils, edibles, and even the unopened bottle of champagne. Julian figured that Grek didn’t care about them cleaning him out, he’d been too ecstatic about them leaving a day early and freeing up the room for another guest.

Nerys’s answering smile was beatific. “Of course! I’m a woman of my word, you know.”

“Mmm, and I do so admire your integrity.” He leaned down and captured her lips in a quick kiss that promised more when they were alone. Then Nery took his hand and led him in the direction of her quarters to begin their courtship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! You can find me gushing about Star Trek on spockfascinated.tumblr.com or on Twitter @jadziastone.


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